Gimme a Jammer

...a mobile phone jammer!!

With the ubiquitousness of cell phones and other gadgets, the annoyance that a person sometimes gets from the repetitive clicks, the plethora of ringtones and loud, invasive, rude - sometimes profane - conversations is painfully aggravating. I think it’s high time to legalize cell phone jammers!

One day, on the bus, a guy was on his cell phone talking with his girlfriend. The conversation was not only decibelically high, but was punctuated by profanity. In many other settings where one needs some quiet time and reflection - even in a public place - the sound of a loud ringtone or intrusive conversation gets on that person’s nerves. In my case, I would feel violated and will have been glad to have had a jammer on me! ... Se o le kala mogi lava. Haha.

Oh, and what about the erratic car in front or next to you on the freeway, drifting in and out of your lane because the driver is on the phone? Well, I wanna “taser” his cell phone.

And this one is equally if not more annoying. At the home front. I mean the deprivation of quality family time because all the children - and adults too - are always on “bended heads and elbows” squinting at their nimble fingers flirting and fiddling with keys, buttons and touchscreens.

So several weeks ago, I enacted a “gadget freeze” rule during family meetings and discussions. I was frustrated with everyone’s busy fingers and hands - while glowing like zombies’ phallanges from the light emanating from the mini screens - and not paying attention to the discussion.

Can you imagine the whole gamut of possibilities - both good and not so good - that these cell phones and gadgets can create in our everyday lives as families? I mean, on the downside, the whole family can conspire against you the parents - or parent. The children can communicate and plan against you by texting each other while, at the same time, you’re trying to give your parental counsel or spiel, or trying to have a nice family-oriented conversation. These tech-savvy nerds can plan and execute a coup or insurrection in a completely civil and non-violent way. And the liberal media will hail them as MLK’s heroes or Ghandi’s disciples of civil disobedience. They will be exonerated and fully justified by a court of law.

But think about it. Your home can become a microcosmic Egypt. In that case, what do I do as a father and patriarch? Do what patriarch Mubarak did, and turn off the Internet? Confiscate the gadgets? NO! ...Ok, I know, Gimme a JAMMER!

So here’s a warning to cell phone users, drivers (or automobilers - if you catch the pun) and home front nerds and nerdesses: If your cell phone suddenly stops working while you’re within a 100-yard diametrical range of yours truly, don’t go calling your cell phone carrier ... as soon as you start using the common code and password “R-E-S-P-E-C-T”, your cell phone will start working again..... LOL!

...and as is common among band members, we say: “Let’s start JAMMIN’!”

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